One of the biggest current parenting questions, especially when children are about to start preschool or when the good weather arrives, is understanding the right moment to take off the diapers and teaching parents the patience and dedication needed during this phase.
Therefore, above all, it is super important to look at the baby and child in front of us, and be aware that diapers are not taken off. It is not a process guided by the parents. Rather, it is walked by the child, and it only happens (and happens very easily without accidents or major setbacks when the child takes that step themselves) when the child reaches a level of sphincter maturity and awareness of their own body, when they can control and wait until they reach the "correct" place to do their business.
When the process is guided by external people, it is common for the child to certainly soil their clothes, bed, and perhaps even the rug and the sofa. This process is not at all necessary for families when they support the child, encourage them, show the process, just as we do when they start walking, eating, talking, or getting teeth. We are by their side, but we cannot, nor should we, force stages and acquisitions.
Every child takes their own time to potty train, and this time naturally varies from child to child.
For children, the moment to learn to hold urine does not always coincide with that for feces. Likewise, nighttime urinary continence may coincide with daytime continence or may occur several months or years later.
Potty training generally begins to happen when the child is around 3 years old. However, this start should not be dictated by the child's age, as they must be physiologically and psychologically ready. This moment can vary greatly from child to child.
To know if your child is ready, observe their behavior. See if they give you indications that a dirty diaper bothers them, if they show discomfort or disgust, or even strangeness towards the diaper, if they show that they want to urinate or defecate. With these small indications, they may want to start detaching from using diapers. On the other hand, parents must be prepared to dedicate the necessary attention and patience for as long as necessary.
First Signs and What to Do
To understand the child's need to potty train, consider the following signs:
- Shows curiosity in seeing parents frequently use the bathroom;
- The child shows interest in the potty or the toilet;
- Asks questions about the subject or makes signs when urinating or defecating.
Parents, on the other hand, can encourage and help the potty training process in the following ways:
- Buying a potty or a toilet seat reducer;
- Using training pants can be immensely useful when they no longer want diapers but are not yet ready to use absorbent-free underwear;
- Buying underwear of the child's choice;
- Always praising the child when they learn something new or progress in learning;
- Dressing the child in loose, easy-to-remove clothing;
- Avoiding threats or punishments as much as possible.
As soon as the child starts showing signs that they are ready for potty training, parents should ask them throughout the day if they feel like using the potty or the toilet and give them the option to choose. However, they must be prepared and hear a "no" frequently.
We can remind the child if they need to go pee, we can show them how to do it, what happens in the bathroom, the process.
They may ask to go several times, with or without clothes, and do nothing; this is natural.
Keep in mind that, to avoid the development of constipation and thus delay potty training, children may not want to defecate in the potty. In that case, it is important that they can continue to do their business in the diaper as usual.
Daytime Potty Training & Nighttime Potty Training
It is generally known that daytime and nighttime potty training require different disciplines from the child. Since daytime potty training happens when the baby is awake (a period of greater conscious attention), for this very reason, it usually takes less time compared to nighttime.
In turn, nighttime tends to be a bit more difficult and time-consuming because it occurs when the child is sleeping.
Do not wake your child up to go to the bathroom. Keep the diaper on until it is no longer needed. Sleep quality, which is interrupted if parents wake the child, is not advised.
Unsuccessful Potty Training
If the child refuses to use the potty or the toilet, it is advisable to take a break of 1 to 3 months in the process. Attempts will be useless if the child is not ready, and this will most certainly be the most likely explanation for the failure in potty training.
However, if several unsuccessful attempts at daytime and nighttime potty training are made and the child is over 4 years old, the ideal is for them to be seen by their attending pediatrician.
